Repressed Childhood Issues?

I think women are abusive. Worse than men in many ways. When a man abuses a woman it's mostly with obvious acts like physical abuse (which is really bad) and occassional shouting. I don't know what I'm talking about, but then I guess that for some guys, as for some girls maybe, the percieved abuses originates from repressed childhood issues. No, I am not a psychologist! I just feel like there is a bigger reason why I hate being reprimanded or shouted at by a woman besides hating to be shouted at in general. I can handle an older guy or man shouting at me and not feel bad about it. I can argue with a younger man and when he gets out of control and starts shouting I know how to put him back in his place with ease without my heart having to increase pace. But a women, whenever a woman shouts at me I freeze inside and in a few seconds I defrost like meat taken straight out of a freezer and dunked into boiling hot water. I sort of feel liquids making their way down my eyes and feel like screaming, or slapping her or even just punching her(which I would never do) and my tongue sorts of twists in my mouth. Then I become unable to speak the whole time while she goes on and on and on and on and on about how she feels, how I make her feel, how I am this or that BLAH! BLAH! BLAH!

I think I have some repressed childhood abuse issues. The thing is, in my life I have had more stepmothers than I do aunties. Difference is, the stepmothers came and went and they still come and go. I KNOW!! I don't know about the special cases but I believe that generally stepmothers don't care about the stepkids. Unless they are generally nice people and they happen to "just adore" kids. Even so though, if your mother is alive they most probably won't get along with her since she is "the ex" or "the other woman" or as in most cases "Thee lady of his heart" "the number one lady". If your mom is one of these and you stay with a stepmom at your father's, then you know your childhood is screwed!

A stepmom will shout at you like you are the most disgusting thing she has ever seen and whatever wrong thing you do your dad will find out about it for sure. If she is in to corporal punishment then you in some deep sh*t. My step mother use to undress me nude before beating me into pulp with a branch twig from a peach tree. Man! And sometimes it would be for something I didn't do. So as I saw it, with her and myself the policy was guilty until proven innocent not innocent until proven guilty. It was "if you fail to prove your innocence then you must be guilty". It's no wonder I grew up and studied philosophy (I should do law too I guess?). If you didn't wash your dish after eating last night, no dinner for you tonight; if you didn't bath by sunset, no dinner for you tonight. You brake your eating plate and you do not report that it is broken, you do not eat until it is found in pieces and you get punishment for that too, after the hunger punishment, which is normally a beating.

Maybe that could be a best way to train your kid to learn how to follow strict rules. Wash up and stay clean, wash your dishes when you finish eating etc.. That could have been nice if there wasn't another who was treated differently, another who was given special treatment, another whose plate would be searched and found and then washed if it was not with the rest in the carboard before dish-up time. Someone who would be reminded if her plate needs to be washed, someone who would be bathed if time comes and she is still un-washed.

Stepmothers who come with their own kids or who have their own kids will always treat their own kids better than someone elses and that is in the nature of humans, to protect their own and you are wrong for expecting more from them. Parents ought to know that, that when you leave your child to be taken care of by another parent who has his/her children, your child will always feel like they are not good enough, not loved enough, not important enough and always take second place or third or fourth depending on how many kids are there. The thing is, a woman or a man can take very good care of his/her friends child without abusing them or making them feel like a burden or a cause for alienation.

The thing with stepmother and step kids is that the relationship now becomes competetive in nature; the stepmother's child and the stepchild are competing for the father's affection and favour. When the father seems to be loving the stepchild a little more than her (stepmother) own, she interpretes it as though it means that the father loves or loved the kid mother more than he does her. Also, for others its the rival thing (woman!).

So, to find yourself in the middle of this tough situation puts you in a tougher situation later in life. Understanding the long-term effects of this you now have to decide whether you are going to let your own child go through the same thing you went through (both earlier and later in life) or are you going to spare your child that misery?
Truth be told I think that made me a stronger person or maybe it just revealed to me my strenghts at a young age (at the same time made me weaker towards women).

Now the question is "do I get married and have a happy family and vow to never leave my wife no matter how miserable she makes me" or "do I not get married, have my kids and raise them with my women and if we break-up I raise my kids by myself (I can raise kids!) or"do I not have kids at all and just have my revenge on women in this world and have fun at the same time"? There's a lot I could do, but it's all on my conscience whatever I do, I alone am responsible for what happens next. If I cry while a woman shouts at me at this age or punch her in the face, I am to blame, I can not go back in time and blame stepmother number 1 for that. I'm sure she has her own problems to deal with, the father hasn't stopped taking wifes, they are lining up and taking numbers. And so are the kids.